mathematics as a spirtual discipline

the best thing about living away from everything "normal" is that you are forced to constantly be learning and growing and thinking and expanding and being conscious about every decision that you make and every conversation that you have. let me explain.

one of the easiest things for me to do is to complain about my job. its easier to complain than it is to accept reality and to learn to work in spite of disagreements with bosses, policies, and the job itself. i never gave myself that opportunity in the states...that is, the opportunity to grow up and be a good employee.

this smells like i've lost my passion and my desire for changing "the system".

but, i've actually learned to enjoy my work, despite my disagreements with various things. i love teaching. i love teaching mathematics. i love the challenge of inspiring students to want to learn something that they can't see any purpose for learning. i love the constant struggle for control. i love my co-workers, and even my superiors (except one...i'm trying and failing at that relationship every day). and, at the end of a long break from school, jessey and i are looking forward to the next month of challenges at school. its pushed us deeper into thinking about how to make an impact in a dark place. its pushed us to grow up and face difficult challenges instead of quitting and complaining and trying to find the next best thing.

the reality is, this is the best thing. this is what was planned out for us before the beginning of time, to be elementary school teachers in the country of jordan at an islamic school run by a princess and filled with rich spoiled kids. if we tried, we couldn't have re-written the story better, and we wouldn't be fully living if we had written the story. thankfully, we aren't in control, and we are learning mathematics as a spirtual discipline. we are learning these fruit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control...and we are learning the value of each every day.

yesua

we celebrated christmas two days ago...just like you. we were privileged to share time with our arab friends on christmas eve, who cooked a meal for us (kufta (sp?) which consists of rolled meat and potatoes and tomatoes and onions). they are suffering, because their daughter is terminally ill with a brain tumor that has gotten worse in the last six months since her last surgery. it was difficult to sit with them as we considered her 2 year old life-light and what it means for them to possibly be losing a child. it was good just to be there with them knowing all we can really do is pray for them.

we then went to our friend doug and paula's house where we partook in their traditional mexican meal on christmas eve night. already full from our arab dinner, we still pounded down some guacamole, cheese, sour cream, lettuce, and bean burritos, followed by some cookies. we stayed the night at their place and woke up on christmas morning with "family". we had a christmas dinner with friends (10 of us) around a table, eating turkey, duck, mashed potatoes, yams, stuffing, apple pie, spinach-artichoke dip, and cookies. through much awkward conversation in their everything-goes household, we remembered jesus' birth and what it meant for us that allah was willing to to veil himself in flesh and become humble like us in order to give us the greatest gift of salvation from sins.

it is interesting being in a land where people don't celebrate christmas with people who aren't your family who are also missing their families. it was good. and as we considered our lives and where we were on christmas night, we knew without a doubt that we are right where we need to be. thanking jesus for giving us all that we need and for reminding us how precious and how fragile life really is.

you remind me of home

this our new place...for the next four months. our friends matt wickman and annamarie monkmeier (married, with different last names...freakin hippies) just had a new baby (blaze...freakin hippies) and migrated back to the states for four months to be with family and take a break from the middle east. they needed some people to rent out their place from them while they were gone, and we needed to move closer to work, so it was a win win. plus, their place is super nice, and we get to benefit from all of the nice stuff for a while. its a true gift. thanks matt and annamarie (and blaze)!

sacrifice (or happy holidays)

we walked out of our apartment and beheld a pool/stream of blood running down our outdoor staircase. the stench of blood and death were in the air as we heard our neighbors talking while slaughtering a ram/goat/sheep (not sure).

its the eid al adha, or the holiday based around remembering abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son (purported to be ishmael by the locals), and allah's provision of a sacrificial ram in his place. every year, muslims sacrifice a sheep/goat/ram as a rememberance and a duty to allah. they keep 1/3 of the meat for themselves, give 1/3 to extended family, and give 1/3 to the poor.

the parallels are hard to avoid. prophetic voices rang in my ears as i watched the blood sacrifice streaming down the stairs into the street, saying things of the blood of the lamb. but, i think the lesson to be learned here is completely different. its about sacrifice. true sacrifice.

when was the last time you saw a dead thing? or watched something die? or when was the last time you considered what God asked of abraham when he told him to sacrifice the son through whom he had promised to bless and multiply the whole world? and what the significance of blood is?

our brothers in the middle east know what it means to cut the throat of an animal and bleed it out, skin it, carve it, and give it away...not for sport, but for God. they are much closer to understanding what it really does mean to need a blood sacrifice for sin. in the west, we are insulated from this "barbarism". we are comfortable.

this is ishmael (i named him that as a sideways joke). he was sacrificed today. he knew it was going to happen. and he had to be dragged across the street and down the hill to his death. he wasn't willing. he was fighting the whole way.

this made me consider the willing sacrifice that was made for me. it made me consider all of the things in my life that i am unwilling to kill for his sake. it made me want to change, to make this christmas one of sacrifice and life-change instead of consumption and self-service.

counterfeit

i entered into the realm of counterfeit money the other day without knowing it. as you can see from the picture, the bill on the right is much smaller than the bill on the left. it was given to me as change at a store less than 50 yards from my house. its on normal printer paper that is crumpled up, but it was convincing enough for me not to think of it...until i tried to pay for something with it. i handed it to a sarfees driver as payment for our 40 cent ride up the hill, and he looked at it in confusion. he said, in arabic, "what is this? where did you get this?" i was confused and started feeling the blood run into my head in a sort of bewildered embarrassment. he told me it was not good, and showed me what was wrong with it (while driving - like lloyd christmas in dumb and dumber). i was confused and upset, since i had been duped. and now i have one less JD. i apologized to the driver and then laughed about how terrible this counterfeit JD really was. what a way to start a day of work.

american holidays in jordan

thanksgiving note #1:
jordanians (and for that matter, the entire world) don't care about thanksgiving as a holiday. they're thankful people, but they don't celebrate squanto helping the pilgrims learn how to live off of the land they stole from his people after they all died from diseases brought from the "old world". i don't know why.

thanksgiving note #2:
no amount of turkey, chicken, stuffing, salad, sweet potato casserole, apple crisp, apple pie, or delicious butternut squash soup can make up for the absence of our friends and family at home. not to be down on our friends here, but there's nothing like a game of apples to apples with ty, matt, ali, kent, nikki, lauren, phil, and chris. nothing. there is also nothing like going through advertisements with our family looking for those $3.00 flash drives at circuit city so we can get sweet stocking stuffers at christmas.
there's a huge, sad, gaping, hole of absence in our hearts (and specifically in mine (jeff)).

thanksgiving note #3:
i have been sick for the last week with a cold that won't go away. it doesn't make me any more thankful, just more aware of how nice it is to be healthy most of the year.

here's our list of things we are thankful for this year:
1. knowing that good news is good news to everyone, no matter who you are
2. jobs (stressful jobs, but they are jobs, and they are good)
3. friends/family who got us here on their wallets
4. death cab for cutie (they've been waking us up for 4 weeks straight. thanks guys!)
5. sunshine
6. learning a lifetime of lessons in 3 months
7. our marriage and our friendship
8. God's provision
9. pizza
10. popcorn with hot sauce
11. new friends
12. our bed coupled with our computer and episodes of Alias
13. God's faithfulness, even when we don't have faith ourselves ("i believe. help my unbelief")
14. jafra cafe
15. you

teachery

some things you should know about our new jobs:

1. jeff has to wear a shirt and tie every day
2. we have to leave the house around 6:30am every day
3. it costs us 6JD a day to get to and from work
4. working together has ups and downs (the only down is venting about things that the other can actually relate to, which brings with it empathy but no pity)
5. the school is nuts-o
6. the 2nd graders are literally "of the devil"
7. jessey is determined to win the war with the children "of the devil"
8. we have found another source of darkness that needs light, and we get to shine (insha' allah)
9. we are legal residents of jordan
10. we now have a local bank account that has no money in it

there are other, much cooler things to say, but i can't say them without raising flags (if you know what i mean), so we'll talk in person about the other awesome things that have been happening. so, without further ado, these two busy people are going to grade papers.