mathematics as a spirtual discipline

the best thing about living away from everything "normal" is that you are forced to constantly be learning and growing and thinking and expanding and being conscious about every decision that you make and every conversation that you have. let me explain.

one of the easiest things for me to do is to complain about my job. its easier to complain than it is to accept reality and to learn to work in spite of disagreements with bosses, policies, and the job itself. i never gave myself that opportunity in the states...that is, the opportunity to grow up and be a good employee.

this smells like i've lost my passion and my desire for changing "the system".

but, i've actually learned to enjoy my work, despite my disagreements with various things. i love teaching. i love teaching mathematics. i love the challenge of inspiring students to want to learn something that they can't see any purpose for learning. i love the constant struggle for control. i love my co-workers, and even my superiors (except one...i'm trying and failing at that relationship every day). and, at the end of a long break from school, jessey and i are looking forward to the next month of challenges at school. its pushed us deeper into thinking about how to make an impact in a dark place. its pushed us to grow up and face difficult challenges instead of quitting and complaining and trying to find the next best thing.

the reality is, this is the best thing. this is what was planned out for us before the beginning of time, to be elementary school teachers in the country of jordan at an islamic school run by a princess and filled with rich spoiled kids. if we tried, we couldn't have re-written the story better, and we wouldn't be fully living if we had written the story. thankfully, we aren't in control, and we are learning mathematics as a spirtual discipline. we are learning these fruit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and self-control...and we are learning the value of each every day.