death

our land-lady's husband died of cancer this morning. he's been suffering at home for the whole time we've been in jordan. very sad. i came home from the clinic today and there were 15 men sitting outside in the courtyard near the entrance to our apartment, smoking their marlboro's, kent's, and gittanes', dressed in white and/or black. i peeked into the apartment and saw about 10 women, sitting in a circle, wearing black and looking numb. i made a swift assumption...then wondered what we should do, as neighbors and as human beings.
thankfully, we had tutoring this afternoon with our tutor, so we asked her what to do. she gave us some things to say to the family and told us a little about what to expect. she said that the wife (our land-lady) will wear black every day for at least a year, sometimes up to 5 or 6 years. in this culture, they want to remember the dead, not move on swiftly and get on with life. she also told us to wear dark colors if we choose to visit, but not to make any food or anything like that.
when we returned home, one of their daughter(s)-in-law told us that the funeral will be tomorrow, in another city. she said the body will come to the apartment tomorrow afternoon for the women to view it, since they will not be allowed at the funeral. she also warned us that there will probably be a lot of bummed out people around until then.
so, we changed clothes and plunged into the mourning process with these people that we have only met during this waiting-for-death period...the brother from canada, the son who helped us with our internet, the son-in-law who lives next door, and her and her daughters that live close.
inside, the women were weeping and not a word was said unless it was to greet or offer quick condolences. just sitting around and crying. outside, the men drank a quick cup of coffee, water, and smoked and talked a bit. most were confused as to why i was out there with them...except for those that we had met.
although death has opened the door, we gladly will step through and seize this opportunity to dangerously love this family. pray for them...and us.